lost here today (pathetic post)

My pillow, my best friend these past few days. wake up, and feel no yearning to step out of bed. I struggle focusing on myself. I have gotten to the point where I dont accept myself, and that needs to change. Why is it that the way our bodies look, have such an influence on how we see ourselves. It certainly boosts confidence in todays society. But we all know that. Get is together, I tell myself everyday. Your not living. Your not staying true to who you are. I put off what makes me happy. Why is that? I am a better human being than I make myself out to be. I lose interest. I am lost here today